Bear Petals
by coleenickk
Summary: Lily has been hurting, and no one in the family can seem to coax it out of her why. Teddy/Lily (with age modifications!), currently other chapters are being written but not posted until reviews!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I changed the dates of birth a bit, to make it a little less creepy. Here, Lily is in her seventh year and Teddy has been done with Hogwarts for four years. Please, review and let me know how to make this better or if I should just take it down all together.

The Room of Requirement opened itself, showing me the cove at which I had received my first kiss. There, the present that was normally hidden in my drawer in the dormitory, had enlarged itself and sat waiting for me. I walked over to the bear patronus, one that he had made himself (with alterations so that it was permanent and small enough to keep), sat, and cried.

I know I should have been honest with Mum from the start, but it was difficult finding a way to tell her. I was honest with her about everything else in my life, but there was no way that I could find the words and force my lips to move with my thoughts, announcing her worst fear.

I know I should have at least told Hugo what was going on with us from the very beginning, but inside I wanted to keep it to myself. He would have told the family, and we would have been exiled on the spot for thinking this was okay. He knew everything about my life, but I had to keep this from him.

Now, I'm alone. _He's_ gone, but I'm broken, and nobody understands why.

When Teddy announced to the family that he was accepted into the auror's program, the entire clan rejoiced knowing that it was always his dream. They offered congratulations, patted him on the back, drank to the occasion. Victorie even offered a friendly hug, even though because of me, they were over. Nobody realized that though.

Not necessarily only because of me. They were going through a rough patch, and because he and I have always been so close, I offered to help by listening. Slowly but surely I actually fell for him. Listening to him talk about the career of his choice with passion reminded me of my father, something every girl swoons over. Hearing words of passion and romance that she lacked in, because of being vain, I felt butterflies to my toes. It wasn't her fault, she was a lovely girl. One of Lily's favorite cousins in fact, but they just didn't make sense.

Victorie didn't understand that when Teddy went missing at random times, those were the nights of the full moon where he would be found at the Owlery crying over the loss of his parents. She didn't realize why his patronus was a bear, why he pretended for so long that only Quidditch mattered to him, and who he talked to when things were amiss. None of that was Victorie's fault. They weren't cut out for each other. Sure, there was love between the two, but not everlasting like Teddy was looking for. So, they went their separate ways.

Lily did understand those things. She felt immensely close to Teddy from the beginning of their childhood. Even though he was four years older, she knew when first learning about crushes from Dominique when she was nine years old that she had all the symptoms for her "older brother". When she was ten, seeing Albus and Rose off to Hogwarts for the first time, she had acted excited in the presence of her mother and father that Teddy and Victorie were together. But that night, she sent her family's owl, Aireka, to the fourth year dormitory in Ravenclaw straight to Teddy.

Scribbled messily, with the tears of a ten year old, it read:

_Bear,_

_I wish I would have known before others. You're supposed to be my best friend you know. Don't ever talk to me again._

_-Lil_

_P.S. I don't mean that. I'm just mad. _

Almost instantly, she received an owl back from her "older brother".

_Lil Petal,_

_I'm sorry. Victorie is my girlfriend now. I picked her because I knew you would approve. I hope you'll understand, you're still my favorite girl._

_-Bear_

_P.S. Dry your tears pretty flower, you're my favorite sister. Much love, xox. _

Remembering this only made Lily cry harder. She didn't know how many times he had written and re-written that letter to her until only last summer. She didn't know anything about how he felt until last summer. But now, she knew everything. She knew how he had watched her in second year growing more and more frustrated that he was so protective and didn't know why. She knew that he had fallen for her so long ago and never told, wishing that circumstances were different. She knew now how much he wished things were different, and that he didn't have to leave.

She was the only one who knew, other than Teddy himself. And that's what made this so hard.

A/N: PLEASE review, letting me know if I should continue, scrap, rebuild or go in a different direction. Let me know if you want more reminiscing, or in the moment, or if you want in Lily's head or Teddy's. Please be careful though; be warned that what she's going through, I've been through. I'm extremely attached to this piece already. My "older brother" and I are… yeah. If you want more of this, you'll see how my life has been going as of late.


	2. Chapter 2

Lily felt her heart fall to pieces when she woke up the next morning, still in the Room of Requirement. _If I'm here, it means he's really gone, and that I wasn't dreaming_. Knowing that if she thought about it for one more minute alone, she would go crazy, Lily gathered her belongings, whispered to the silvery bear to return to its home, and went out the room towards the Great Hall to have breakfast.

As soon as she entered and sat at the Gryffindor table, all hell broke loose.

"Lily! Where were you last night? Why do you have tear stains? Whose arse am I going to kick?" Hugo immediately boomed upon her arrival.

"Hugh, you're going to have to be quiet; I have an intense migraine right now," she shrugged off the questions. Nobody could know about her room. Then they would know about the situation. If they knew about the situation, things would go south extremely quickly.

Rose leaned in close to her, whispering, "Seriously Lil, you know you can talk to us about anything."

It almost did her in. She almost broke down crying and spilling the entire story right there at breakfast the week before exams. But she didn't. She sucked in her breath, cleared her head, and breathed, "I'm fine, really."

In Professor Binn's class, Lily always had time for her mind to wander. Normally it would go straight to Teddy, and she could smile and doodle with her heart content. Now that circumstances were different, it was harder to have time on her hands for her mind to skip. She tried focusing on the lesson: Great Werewolves in History, but ironically, it wasn't helping the situation at all.

"Petal, why are you here?" He looked like he was crying, which made her heart shatter automatically. It was her third year, his seventh, when she found him at the Owlery on the night of the full moon in October. She had heard rumors of him sneaking out of his dormitory to go meet up with Victorie, but since she knew they were going through troubles, it couldn't have been true.

"Well, checking on you of course," she replied breezily. She walked over, tugged on his right ear, and said, "Spill." It had always been their code. Since they were little, Teddy could smile his brightest smile and everyone would believe it except for Lily. She knew, with him being a metamorphmagus, that he could change his appearance at will. The only thing he ever kept the same were his eyes, but when he was trying to hide pain they became much darker. She caught on early, that when he was upset, his eyes were the only thing that revealed his heart's true emotion.

The code started one particularly stormy night, when Lily asked him what was wrong. His response was, to his surprise, "Lil, even I don't want to understand my messed up mind. There's too much going on in here, and you would be scared if it all came gushing out." He pointed to his temple, and Lily crawled behind him wiggling on his right ear.

"What are you doing?" He asked that night. To which, she replied, "Opening Pandora's box."

As the thunder crackled and lightning swept the sky, Teddy started talking. From then on, when Lily wanted in on his secrets, she tugged on his right ear.

Sitting atop the Owlery that night, looking at the full moon shining brightly on the lake, Teddy simply cried. He opened Pandora's Box once again to her. He cried for the loss of his parents and never being able to know them. He cried at the possibility of still showing signs of transformation on his father's side later down the road. He cried because everyone expected him to be what his mother and father were, but he didn't know how to live up to their reputation. He simply cried.

When he was finished, he looked at her, and she felt herself blush. Nobody, not even him, had ever looked at her in that way. Like she meant something, like she was a key to a puzzle. He cupped her face, looked her straight in the eye, and softly spoke.

"Lil-petal, nobody else knows how I feel about these things. I don't want them to know. I want them to think I'm happy, so maybe I can convince myself that I am. You hold my secrets for me; you are simply my best friend." He kissed her on the check, stood up, and helped her to her feet. That night, Teddy walked her to the Gryffindor common room before doubling back to the Ravenclaw tower. When she was safely in bed and almost asleep, a patronus in the shape of a bear curled next to her pillow.

It spoke in his whisper, "Goodnight to my favorite girl."

Lily woke up violently during Professor Binn's lesson. Her sleep wasn't exactly on a schedule since Teddy had been in ATC (Auror Training Camp). She was worried sick about him; one out of ten wizards didn't make it through… She hadn't heard any bad news yet, but there was nothing good being said either, which made her sick to her stomach. She had to know soon, or else her mind was going to explode.

A/N: Sorry for the crappy transitions people, this chapter just came to me. Since I had more viewers on the first night of chapter one than I've ever had on any of my stories before, I decided to post this right away. I hope you stick with me, if any of you have suggestions, please let me know. Xoxo.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Orchideon," he whispered, watching a single stemmed long lily sway its way from his wand and drop gently into his palm. He smelled it, smiling. Damn, he missed her. He missed the way she laughed, which in all honesty was exactly like a six year-old's giggle. He missed the way she made him feel complete, the way that he could open up to her in a way he would have never imagined. He missed everything about her, but things were different now. And nothing could make him more upset. _

_ As a tear ran from his eye, he muttered "Incendio," and watched the flower burn. He can't think of her here, she makes him vulnerable. The last thing he needs is to have a letter arrive to his godfather announcing his death. He pushes his favorite girl out of his mind, allows himself one minute to linger on the thought of her beautiful innocence, and then lies down to sleep._

A/N: I know it's an extremely short chapter, but I think that's how I'm going to do all of Teddy's chapters. I know he's a softie, that's how I imagine him: strong on the outside, vulnerable on the inside. New chapter tomorrow, a longer one. I pinky promise. As always, please review and let me know what you think. xox


	4. Chapter 4

Lily pulled herself out of the slump that her feelings for her god brother had created. She pretended to smile and laugh with her cousins in the Great Hall during dinner, played Quidditch like a champ during the game against Hufflepuff (seven goals before Hugo caught the snitch), and answered questions during class. She wrote her essays with the Scamander boys in the library, and stayed far away from the Room of Requirement.

However, every time she looked in the mirror, she couldn't deny the dullness that her life had become in the absence of the one she loved with her entire heart. Her auburn hair didn't seem quite as fiery, the eyes that once shone like the ocean in the moonlight were now a dull navy, and her cheeks, which normally were consistently filled with a pale pink blush from the thought of Teddy, were now just cheeks.

There was no denying that Lily was no longer Lil-petal. She had become a shell of what she once was, and the only way to revive her spirit was to see him once more; to hear his laugh, his true laugh, or look into his eyes and see what he truly was… Her other half.

She had given up hope of seeing him before she started her new life. She probably wouldn't hear from him during the yearlong auror training, so why not go about her life?

Every time she thought about that though, a voice screamed in her head and her heart constricted; she couldn't move on from him. She would be there when he came out, waiting; showing him that she truly loved him and could be second to his passion if only his passion was still there for her as well.

Sighing, Lily made her way to her dormitory, up the crimson stairs into the seventh year girl's room and flopped down onto her bed. She thought she had drifted into unconsciousness… It was insane to think that Aireka could possibly be knocking at her window. The only way she ever did that was when Ted was able to write to her. Any other time, she would be delivering mail to the Gryffindor table at breakfast. She squeezed her eyes tightly and thought to herself, "If she pecks four more times, I can't ignore it anymore…"

Surely enough, Aireka relentlessly pecked on the window. Lily slowly dragged from the bed, doubt filling her mind and heart with endless scenarios running through her teenage mind. Untying the parchment from her mind, Aireka rubbed her head against Lily's arm, begging for attention. Rummaging through her trunk and avoiding the situation at hand, Lily took extra time giving her owl attention and affection. Finally, when she flew away, Lily took a deep breath and let her eyes fall upon the letter. In his handwriting, it read:

_Lil-petal,_

_I was only allowed one letter. I have become top of my class and this was my reward. If I do the same next month, I'll be able to write to you again. I don't think I'll be able to do so though, this week we're tackling boggarts. You know what they do to me, so please don't worry if you don't hear from me next month._

_ I'm doing well here, but I miss you so much. I know we decided to put a hold on our relationship, but it's the worst mistake I've ever made to say those words to you. You are my light; you are my way of getting through this training. I love you Lily, and not in the god sister way. Not in the best friend way. Not in a teenage relationship, ending in flames when the fire burns out. I love you in the unconditional way, and my success is all based on getting home to you. If you can accept that, and you're willing to take me back, I would do everything in my power to erase the pain I've caused and make you the happiest that you could be in our life together. _

_ I want to tell the family. I know it's going to be hard to keep it a secret by yourself but I want to help you break the news. It has been so difficult for me to be away from you; thoughts of the night at the cove get me through the nights. Thoughts of our days exchanging looks and stolen kisses and hand holdings underneath the table at the Burrow keep me alive during the day. _

_ I miss you so much Lily. Please, consider my request and write to me as soon as possible._

_ Much, much love,_

_ Your Bear. _

Lily finished reading, with tears streaming down her face. He wanted her back! He wanted to continue what they had started that summer. He said he loved her unconditionally, and she was willing to go back to those days. If only they could come sooner…

Quickly, she scribbled on her own parchment, whistled to Aireka, and sent the beautiful bird hurdling through space toward her love. It read:

_Bear,_

_ Of course I accept, I'll always be waiting for you on the other side, and I know you'll come home to me safely. Please don't think about anything bad happening on my end, it will only make the boggarts worse. I'm safe, I'm alive, and the Dark Days are over. There is no way that Bellatrix could kill me, like she did to your parents. I love you, I love you, I love you. Get through this so we can start our lives together Ted, I miss you more and more each day. _

_ With infinite affection,_

_ Your Lil-petal._

A/N: Please let me know what you think, I'm not posting until more reviews come my way. I need to know which way YOU want the story to go! Xox, thank you for reading as always.

And, as a side note, if any of you want to seriously talk to me about this story, you can either PM me or find me on tumblr (username coleenickk). Thanks darlings!


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